As a young child I was so eager to start school and make friends. But it turns out navigating the turmoil of other kids’ emotions and egos, as well as my own, was too much for my hyper-sensitive soul. Overwhelmed with emotion and frustration at playground politics, my five-year-old self resorted to biting, scratching and yelling as my methods of communication.
At the age of six, miserable I was born such a ‘terrible’ person and sad I didn’t have the one thing I wanted, connection with others, my mother sat me down with love in her eyes, ‘Stephanie,” she said, “You don’t have to be mean, or sad, or bossy, you can be anyone you want to be.” It was a pivotal moment for me as I realized I had choice, and the power to become whomever I wanted. Interpreted through my six-year-old mind, however, this meant I was going to forget whoever ‘Stephanie’ was and become someone else. And so, at the tender age of six, thinking I was doing a good thing, I made a conscious decision to compromise myself in search for connection.
Though I had jumped onto a difficult path, I was armed with the gifts of clear perception, a fearlessness of self examination, the mind of a scientist and a strong, internal compass set to Truth. I set out into the world and studied connection from every angle and on all levels. What it is in all its variances, how it’s formed, how the other person gets in its way, and most importantly, all the ways I got in its way. By eight I realized real connection would only happen if I was able to truly share myself. And so, I shifted my focus to learning how to be 100% comfortable in my own skin no matter what. An insatiable curiosity was born in my grade school years to peer into every negative reaction, every fear, every hesitation, and every discomfort connection with others stirred in my being. And along with it was born the desire to heal.
By fourteen I was studying science and consciousness, the anatomy of ‘the self’ and energetic healing while learning the ins-and-outs of being an over-achieving people pleaser that took me through college. The next ten years were a monastic study of self-help teachers, eastern philosophy, occult science and mindfulness practices that taught me the power of the mind and how it can work for you or against you. It’s then I developed a daily meditation practice I still use today. In my 20’s, I became dedicated to ‘studying’ my experience as a woman in today’s world and developed a passion to help women become their most powerful selves. But I knew I wasn’t quite ready.
At 28 I turned my attention to sexuality. Aware there was a deeper reason for my inability to orgasm with partners, my efforts to understand why took me through an intimate journey into connection via human sexuality. I learned the art of balancing the masculine and feminine forces and the natural dances the two desire. It’s here I blossomed as a woman, having reclaimed my sexual power. I co-created and co-hosted an internationally renowned relationship and intimacy podcast that garnered 60,000 listeners per month, interviewing some of the most fascinating voices in the field. During this time, I worked with men introducing them to the divine feminine and how to bring it into their lives and relationships for nearly a decade.
I have since travelled into the depths of partnership where I’ve had to dismantle false images of myself, my partner, and the purpose of relationship in order to to allow Real love to take its form. Here, I’ve had to face my deepest wounds and call upon all my resources in order to heal and re-emerge more whole and more capable of love for myself, and others. All for the search of true connection without self-compromise.